you.

So you want to take credit for MY work. I guess all the things I've worked on by myself for it means nothing. Well go ahead it's not like you have the guts to say anything to my face. Besides the people who you think are your friends know the truth and know all the work I've put into it. They know the hours the I've spent planning and organizing and researching. They know that I'M the one who created something that people will one day take advantage of. So you want to sit there and take credit for that? Okay. Because I promise one day it all will come crashing down on you. It may seem like things are perfect however when you least want and expect it....you'll fall. So go ahead and lie to my face and pretend that you care.
I know the real you. And you've pushed me far enough so I'm going to reveal all of how I feel. You are one fucked up person. You try and pretend to be happy but you turn to all the wrong maneuvers, things that hurt you more. So here's a wake up call: It only makes things worse. You think that everyone believes you...guess what...we know. We're aren't stupid. Things won't get better unless you let them. So grow up and learn to deal with things the healthy way.
I'm not perfect (gosh I am far from it) however I have a great support system that isn't as messed up as I am. They hold me up and know what makes me feel better. They can say nothing and still make me feel better. Because I know that they truly care and want the best for me.
So yes, I'm calling you out. Yes, you are very smart and pretty. But at the end of the day can you honestly sit there and say that you are PROUD of what you've done. Of who you are. Can you look in the mirror and believe that you've never done something you don't regret? Yes...I was angry. But now that I've got this out I'm happier. You know why? Because I have a healthy way of releasing my pain. I don't let it build up inside of me and take over my life. I write. It's what I'm good at and what I love so when I write you know it's the truth and from inside me.
In the end, at least I can say that I learn from my mistakes and am honest. I'm not afraid to let people know how I feel. I have the courage. So feel free to reply. Feel free to come forward. Although I don't think you will. But good luck in life.

Mischief Managed.

Avada Bitch!

So....I have this ex of a little over 2 years and he just doesn't get that I want absolutely nothing to do with him. I don't ever wish harm on anyone, however, I hate to say this. (And it does somewhat disgust me that I feel this way) I just wish he would disappear. If I ever see him all I wish I could do is crucio him so he could feel at least a sliver of the pain he caused me. I regret the whole relationship and the time I wasted on him. It takes a lot for me to truly hate someone and he is one of those people that I really hate. I just want him to stop bothering me and let me live my life. I just get so angry and frustrated because he won't STOP. Really? If you've apologized to (through a text message) and I still haven't responded back. hmmmmm....OBVIOUSLY I want nothing to do with you. Do you not get it? I think any normal minded person would get the hint after 2 YEARS!!

Anyways...if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this psychotic ex-boyfriend feel free to leave me a comment!

On happier news! I only have 18 days left at this hell I call school! YAYYYY

Also! For my birthday this year, my friends and I are going to the Harry Potter Exhibit in NYC! I'm really excited!! This summer has lots of fun things packed! Hope everyone's end of the semester/school year goes smoothly and well.

Mischief Managed.

Once you realize...

...that the past is just a story, it has no power over you.

I read this quote online at a site I like to browse: Wittyprofiles.com

Anyways, it really just hit me. This quote is true. Maybe not for you, but for me, it does. I was sitting here being a bit sad about life. I'm not really sure why but it made me think. I'm a writer. And how to I deal with my emotions? I write about them. So, why not write about the things/people that really hurt me? Why not let it all out there and let the pieces fall where they may? It may be hard and excruciatingly painful for me...but that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to just write and not stop until I'm finished. It's most likely going to be a disorganized mess, but hey! maybe it'll work out! So wish me luck I have a lot of typing to do.

Mischief Managed

Dear parents who don’t agree with their child’s opinion,

Get over it.

Seriously. It’s either deal with it or you will wind up losing your kid forever. Forcing someone to have either your own opinion or no opinion at all doesn’t end well. The reason I’m bringing up this issue is because I have a step-father who hates almost everything I stand for. He will never say it out loud without being forced to but he’s doesn’t agree with equality. That’s the nicest way of saying it. I just decided to group everything under a broad category.

We were in the car driving to Virginia today and my mom had accidentally hit the CD button on the car radio. Michael Buble happened to be in. And he started to complain and whine like he’s 5 years old.

You’re 61 years old…really?

Anyways and he keeps complaining saying this music is crap. My mom and I tell him that he needs to deal with it and then him and I engage in a rather….loud ‘discussion’. He says I have no right to say anything and that my opinion doesn’t matter.

Before I continue let me give a tiny piece of history. I don’t tell my parents a lot because they always put down everything I do. I have told my mom about this. There’s always been an issue with them never listening to me and my opinions. Now back to the story….

I turn to my mom and tell her “I told you so” because well…I did. Now to me ranting about this-à

(This is what I was saying in my head)
Would he rather me listen to music that was all about drugs and sex? Since when was his opinion the only one that matters? Who made him king? I don’t give a crap that you’re the oldest one in the car, there’s something called respect. I don’t agree with many things you say, however, you don’t see me throwing a fit like I’m 5 years old. I just don’t understand.

Now to apply my thinking on the world…
What gives people the right to silence others? Why should a person feel oppressed if he thinks something different. If you look at the world’s history, it’s the ones who do think differently who make the biggest difference. They’re the people we write about and inspire us.

So tell me. In a today’s world….why is it that we think ourselves so advanced and revolutionary when there are still people who are silenced. Everyday there’s someone who is forced to keep their opinions in their heads and walk around a mundane society that thinks they are superior.

That’s another thing about this world that bothers me. If you compare the United States culture to…say…a European culture what do I see? That the United States is lacking. Sure, we have democracy (which I’m not saying is a bad thing) and a sense of freedom. But are we really better? Or equally cultured? Not really. Do we respect the others that surround us? No. Does majority of the population care about our history? No, they don’t. It’s a sad but true fact. Even if we don’t know We seem to forget all the sacrifices our troops, or influential members of our country has given. It wasn’t easy. Our citizens in this time have forgotten that the things that matter, that mean something, aren’t easy to achieve. When will people remember the good things in life? The things that matter.

Mischief Managed.

CollegeACB: It's On!

Sometimes I just have to wonder...why. Why people are so mean? What really makes us say the things we do and act certain ways. I recently came across a site called collegeacb.com
.....just wow....are people so self-centered and malicious that they use the anonymity of this site to embarrass and torment others. Well I'm answering back. I'm answering back for all those COWARDS who think its sooo much fun to talk shit and those who HIDE behind a facade. It's wrong. It's wrong to post personal information about someone without their consent. It's wrong to think that you can talk about someone and not give them the chance to fight back. It's WEAK and PATHETIC. I would bet my life that those inhumane people who wrote what they did couldn't stand in front of that person they gossiped about and tell them the truth.

So I'm calling all of you out. Tell everyone who you are. What are you so scared of? What makes it okay? What would happen if someone you trusted posted things about you? How do you think it feels to have all your secrets exposed...everything. How would you feel if people looked at you and laughed. How would you feel if you couldn't trust anyone, couldn't talk to anyone. What if you had nothing? I know how it feels to be broken and made fun of and feel like nothing will go right. Nothing can save you. All you feel is sadness. There is no out. I know.

And now I'm talking to all those beautiful people who were attacked. Because yes, it was an attack. You are strong. It's okay to be different and somewhat crazy. I don't care. It tends to make life more interesting. So speak up for yourselves. Hell even if its yelling out loud to yourself!! DO IT! You are all special and no one can take that away. So what if you don't fit into any cookie cutter mold. I would consider it an accomplishment if you didn't. Who the hell cares if you don't have the right clothes, right hairstyle, the right friends. Who gets to say whats "right" and "wrong"? Do whatever YOU want to do. It'll make you so much happier.

And I guess I'll conclude by saying: Be honest to others and yourself. You're the one who has to live with your choices everyday. Are you happy when you look in the mirror?

Mischief Managed

The Truth.

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves." (François de la Rochefoucauld)

Do you ever feel left out? As if you're that person that no one likes? They pretend and act like you matter when in reality you don't. I've been having these thoughts a lot recently. Sometimes you have to wonder....do people actually care about you? I mean I have my really close friends who I've known for almost my whole life and then there are people I've met recently who I know actually care....But then there are those who i've done so many things for and been there through everything and yet Im treated like shit. What is it with people? I have to wonder if they even realize what they're doing. The worst case scenario would be that they do and they still use me. I'm not some pawn in a game nor am i a back up friend. Why can't you just tell me the truth. You know me long enough to know that I hate lies and I've been through enough to be able to handle disappointment.
So I need to ask: What happened to the truth? What makes people now a days lie? Why do we have this need to have everyone like us and be annoyed constantly by this person/people? Why can't we for ONCE be honest with others and stop holding things in? It really doesn't go well in the end anyways. I just don't understand. What makes us be so repressed?


As you can tell...I'm confused annoyed and pissed off....Anyways I hope everyone's weekends went well and hope your week goes well! 


Mischief Managed

Let me tell you.....

So. I pretty much was kicked out of a class under a false accusation...and it was my favorite class. =[  Today hasn't been the best days. However due to some great friends, they have helped me feel happier with dinner out and a trip to B&N. One of the places I wouldn't mind living in.

I hate to say this but I just have no faith in myself right now...not even that I just feel like I'm moving towards a pointless goal. When I graduate what will my diploma say? That I know how to read, write, and analyze. If you can't read and write at my age...the education system has failed. Why is it that we are in a country where people can get famous off of youtube and yet majority of the people can't follow their dreams? What ever happened to "Carpe Diem" and seizing the day? I want to travel, learn about different cultures and write about it. I want to be able to say, "Hey! I've been there and seen what it's like." No wonder society is so messed up. We are forced into a cookie-cutter mold that makes kids today think "What's the point?" Why should they even bother if teachers/parents/guardians are telling them that they have to do something sensible. So what if I may live poor for the rest of my life. I've already come to terms with that. I'm in college. It costs a lot of money! I would rather drop out, travel, explore, and learn through experience and be happy but poor. Rather than be in a drab, slate gray, cubicle doing mediocre work and be miserable. SO WHAT about stability and healthy financial status! I don't care. Money means nothing to me! It may help me further my hobbies and momentary happiness but when I look at the world and see the people who have shaped literature, I don't see those who sat down and did nothing. They went for it! Why?? Why do I have to sit in so many hours of class each day? Just to prove that I can momentarily memorize data and facts so the school looks better? So I can sell myself to people for something I most likely don't want to do? I would be happy working in a book store the rest of my life, it's something I'd love to do.

........I think I'm done with my rant for now...anyways here's a quote that I deem appropriate for my day.

“There's no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” --Ella Wheeler Wilcox


Mischief Managed