Camp--Day 21

Well there has been so much going on in my life. I've been at camp for 3 weeks now and I'm not sure how I feel. I'm 1/2 of the laundry staff and a bunk counselor for 7 girls. It's been really crazy and busy and frustrating and a million other feelings as well. My first full day here (during staff week) I wanted to go home. I had a breakdown filled with crying and called my parents saying I wanted to go home and that they should come get me. The head of my bunk suggested that I help out with the Creative Writing department which did help me not think about home. I haven't been able to help out since the first week though which isn't too bad. I've just been overwhelmed by stinky socks and gross underwear. Not to mention the "lovely" surprises in the pockets of the campers. o.O  The girls in my bunk are awesome. They drive me crazy and can be frustrating at times but at the end of the day we can all get together and act like a family once again. Two of the girls are leaving tomorrow night so tonight's bunk wind-down is going to be emotional (mostly for me). I've gotten to know these girls and they are such wonderful people. They are talented and each is unique.

One of the nicer things about being part of the laundry staff is I get a break from the campers. It's nice to be able to not have to watch what I say or pretend I'm super excited about the most mundane things. The area around the camp is quite beautiful. The farms and fields are something out of a movie and I find myself becoming calm whenever I go by. One of my least favorite things about the area are 1.) the bugs, and 2.) we're in the middle of nowhere! The most frequented stores are Wawa and Walmart. I'm really wishing I had my car so I could go home on my days off.

Another thing plaguing my mind recently is my love life...or lack of. I do have an interest however due to being in completely different countries, things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm still really confused on how I feel, however, I'm learning to let myself be out there and see where things go. I have no idea if he even wants to give us another shot but I'm really hoping. Last time I was scared and didn't give myself the chance to see if it could turn into something great.

Well that's all for now, I need to head back to laundry! Hope everyone's days are better than mine and filled with unicorns and rainbows!!

Mischief Managed

Update: 6-24-11

SO I thought an update was needed since I haven't posted in quite a long time. I've been a camp for the past week...it's interesting to say the least. A new experience. I'm feeling a bit home sick today because I didn't have much to do. (also if there are any spelling mistakes sorry, I'm using a mac and it's way different than my HP) I quit my job at Kohls (yay!) and as stated earlier I'm working at a summer arts camp in southern NJ. I'm a bunk counsiler, laundry staff, and I'm also helping out the Creative Writing department. Anyways! I'll probs post up later today or tomorrow.

Misheif Managed.

Today was a fairytale!

Today was a fantabulous day!!!!! *sing-sing voice* I went to see PofTC4 which was great, took my friend to get her first tattoo, ate Olive Garden, visited the beach....oh and got my second commission. If you check out my DeviantArt: http://storiofmylife.deviantart.com  I made a new necklace last night, that I must say is one of my favorites. A girl from work asked me to make it and I'm selling it for $25!! Going towards my con-fund....I now have...$25! haha Anyways It's been a great week. Finished the 4th HP book onto the 5th. My friend and I also plan to dress up as pirates at AnimeNext. Which I'm excited for. I just ordered a skirt and midriff corset...Next is to make some jewelry. Anyways I'm excited for Demyx Time 15 and the next Marauders video. If you don't know what I'm talking about go to this link---->http://www.youtube.com/user/JenxtheJinx
They are amazing people and I wish my life could be as magical as theirs. They are people I watch on YouTube that always make me feel better.
Well hope everyone is enjoying their summer/spring (for those in school still)!

Mischief Managed.

I know!

Just finished watching a new episode of In Plain Sight. One of my top shows because I love the main female character's blunt and sarcastic attitude. Very similar to mine! But this week's progress on changing my attitude has progressed fairly well. My birthday was this week and it was by far the best I've ever had. I spent it with great friends and it was nice to get out and do something exciting. My step-dad and I still aren't talking...not sure how I feel about it. My mom and I talked about it and she defended him as per usual. But the one thing that always bothers me is when I'm told what I am. Just stop! One of my rants to my mom was when she explained that I don't think about others. Which really hits me deep. Do my parents not know me at all? do they not notice all the pain and silence I went through for them and others? According to my parents and other people in my life I am: selfish, negative and a horrible person. So if anyone wants to add onto that feel free! I'm not listening. Do they need to point out my flaws? Obviously I already know what they are. I'm not stupid or oblivious. I'm not perfect and no one is!

Moving on....hmm....what else happened this week? Not really much. I've been relaxing and enjoying my time off. I dyed my hair so it has a bit of a reddish tint and I put blue and red/pink(supposed to be purple) streaks in my hair. I like change of scenery so since I can't change my furniture around I tend to change my hair.

Hope everyone enjoys their summer and good luck to everyone and their endeavors!

Mischief Managed

It's time

I haven't updated the blog in a while, which I do apologize for! Thing's have been a bit hectic with me moving back home, finals, and getting back to working. I just finished watching the movie Beauty and the Briefcase. Now it's not a spectacular movie but the message it sends kind of hits home for me. I have declared that it's time for a change. With a new school next year and working a new job this summer I'll be meeting new people. I plan to turn my attitude and life around. It's almost the summer and I plan to take advantage of the changes in scenery. So I've decided that at least twice a week I'm going to update this blog. I want to turn my life around. While I don't enjoy everything in my life I need to deal with them and find ways to cope. I have an amazing group of friends who are there for me and support me in what ever I go for (even if I don't know what I want). I want to do random things and go on road trips with no destinations. I want to date and maybe even fall in love! I miss the days when I had no care in the world. I want to get together with friends and do whatever comes to mind. I want to live life! In order for me to write I need inspiration and where else can I get it but from life itself? So join me if you want. I'm going to count the days! Let this be the beginning of something. Wish me luck!

Mischief Managed

you.

So you want to take credit for MY work. I guess all the things I've worked on by myself for it means nothing. Well go ahead it's not like you have the guts to say anything to my face. Besides the people who you think are your friends know the truth and know all the work I've put into it. They know the hours the I've spent planning and organizing and researching. They know that I'M the one who created something that people will one day take advantage of. So you want to sit there and take credit for that? Okay. Because I promise one day it all will come crashing down on you. It may seem like things are perfect however when you least want and expect it....you'll fall. So go ahead and lie to my face and pretend that you care.
I know the real you. And you've pushed me far enough so I'm going to reveal all of how I feel. You are one fucked up person. You try and pretend to be happy but you turn to all the wrong maneuvers, things that hurt you more. So here's a wake up call: It only makes things worse. You think that everyone believes you...guess what...we know. We're aren't stupid. Things won't get better unless you let them. So grow up and learn to deal with things the healthy way.
I'm not perfect (gosh I am far from it) however I have a great support system that isn't as messed up as I am. They hold me up and know what makes me feel better. They can say nothing and still make me feel better. Because I know that they truly care and want the best for me.
So yes, I'm calling you out. Yes, you are very smart and pretty. But at the end of the day can you honestly sit there and say that you are PROUD of what you've done. Of who you are. Can you look in the mirror and believe that you've never done something you don't regret? Yes...I was angry. But now that I've got this out I'm happier. You know why? Because I have a healthy way of releasing my pain. I don't let it build up inside of me and take over my life. I write. It's what I'm good at and what I love so when I write you know it's the truth and from inside me.
In the end, at least I can say that I learn from my mistakes and am honest. I'm not afraid to let people know how I feel. I have the courage. So feel free to reply. Feel free to come forward. Although I don't think you will. But good luck in life.

Mischief Managed.

Avada Bitch!

So....I have this ex of a little over 2 years and he just doesn't get that I want absolutely nothing to do with him. I don't ever wish harm on anyone, however, I hate to say this. (And it does somewhat disgust me that I feel this way) I just wish he would disappear. If I ever see him all I wish I could do is crucio him so he could feel at least a sliver of the pain he caused me. I regret the whole relationship and the time I wasted on him. It takes a lot for me to truly hate someone and he is one of those people that I really hate. I just want him to stop bothering me and let me live my life. I just get so angry and frustrated because he won't STOP. Really? If you've apologized to (through a text message) and I still haven't responded back. hmmmmm....OBVIOUSLY I want nothing to do with you. Do you not get it? I think any normal minded person would get the hint after 2 YEARS!!

Anyways...if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this psychotic ex-boyfriend feel free to leave me a comment!

On happier news! I only have 18 days left at this hell I call school! YAYYYY

Also! For my birthday this year, my friends and I are going to the Harry Potter Exhibit in NYC! I'm really excited!! This summer has lots of fun things packed! Hope everyone's end of the semester/school year goes smoothly and well.

Mischief Managed.