Thanksgiving 2011/What I'm thankful for

I wanted to write a post about what I'm thankful for. Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday because of the memories it brings up. While this year I'm still dreading it, I also feel very inspired and inclined to think about who and what I'm thankful.
I'm thankful for my mom, my brothers (and their families), my boyfriend, my closest friends from Rider/Appel Farm/Awebeco Bento, my puppies (even if they drive me insane), my warm bed, and everything I've been granted in my room. I'm glad I live in a country where I can speak my mind and express my thoughts creatively and freely. I'm thankful for my creativity, books, poems, art as a whole I guess. I'm also thankful for the people I've talked to online. I've met the most inspiring, supportive, and talented people online. While I may not be happy where I am now I know that soon I'll be away from here, out living my life. Maybe that's why I had the urge to write all this out. Because I know that this time next year I won't be able to be with my family. And I know that I WILL be in England next year because it's something I want and I'm willing to fight for it. No matter what.
So my parting thought for the time being is this: Think about what you have and what you would feel if you didn't have the things you love. Be thankful for everything you've been given or worked hard for.

Stay beautiful! <3

Mischief Managed

What now?

I really need to start writing these posts during the day and when I'm not supposed to be sleeping. Anyway, I'll give you all an update on life so far.

My step-dad hasn't spoken to me in about 3 weeks. Now this isn't the longest we've gone without talking but it is the hardest. In fact, I'm not sure I even want to talk to him again. Want to know the supposed reason that he stopped talking to me? Well....brace yourselves! It's because I went to Delaware to visit a friend. The kicker is this: apparently he told me we would switch cars. Plus he didn't even tell me, my mom did. Did he actually say this? No idea. I highly doubt it. He would never let me use "his" car unless it was absolutely necessary (ex. for work or school). And even then he wouldn't be the one to suggest it. My mom would and then they'd end up in an argument and eventually I'd be granted use. So the fact that I honestly don't remember him ever saying this bothers me. So I've come up with some scenarios that most likely happened.

1. I honestly didn't here him say it and I'm in the wrong. Which I have no problem admitting. Especially over something so mediocre.

2. He didn't say it and he completely made it up and used my mom's lack of memory to make up a reason to be pissed at me.

That's all I could come up with for now. Anyways the day after I got back neither of my parents would talk to me. They wouldn't even tell me exactly why. So in spirit of my new view on life I did the one thing that I feared most: telling my parents everything I felt and why. I've never EVER done this because for obvious reasons, they hurt me and I don't trust them. But I was so hurt by their childish behavior that I couldn't sleep so I stayed up late and wrote a 5 page letter. I know some people think: you should face them and tell them. Well don't worry I planned to. But the one way I can really express myself is through writing.
In the letter I talked about nearly everything in my life that hurt me. Not just what they've done or said but other people as well. At the end I basically gave them an ultimatum: let's talk and try to work things out ~or~ if nothing changes/gets worked out then I'm done. I will walk away because no one deserves to live with people who hurt them. I put the letter into my mom's purse and the next day she told me that weekend we'd talk.
Did we? Of course not. My dad still isn't acknowledging my existence and every time I want to talk my mom always has other things to do. I gave them benefit of the doubt but it's been over a week and a half and nothings changed. I'm still being told to apologize. I'm stuck eating meals in my room alone and I haven't actually spent more than 10 minutes anywhere else in my house but my room. I'm feeling like shit. I've tried not to let it get to me and wait it out, but it's really starting to bother me. I'm barely eating, I'm barely sleeping. I had another nightmare last night which I haven't had in a long time and usually only happens if I'm stressed. I'm feeling super lonely and I refuse to rant to my friends anymore because I know it annoys them. I don't even know what to think anymore. I want to talk to my brothers but I'm too afraid that they'll brush me aside. I honestly am just tired.
So what now? Do I ignore the problem as usual and pretend nothing happened? Or do I finally stand up?
I want my professor to hurry up and fill out a reference so I can apply to University of Birmingham so i can get out and live my life. I feel like I'm losing grip on my emotions and I just want to punch something. I've been more irritable than lately and I really just want to scream at my parents. Maybe then they'll make time for me. Maybe then they'll listen. This weekends going to be tough with my mom away on business so I'll most likely be in my room all weekend.
I've been having trouble being near my best friend's family because lately it's been harder to see how much they care for each other then leave to go back to my house and live in hell.

Well. I'll end my rant here. I just really needed a place to put all these feelings and thoughts. I feel that tomorrow, well technically today, will be better though. I'm putting 1 or 2 purple streaks in my hair. I put in some more blond streaks and they look pretty awesome. Maybe I'll put up a pic when it's done.

As always, to anyone who reads my blog, stay strong and stay beautiful!

Mischief Managed.

The words you may never hear.

This is a bit like a letter to my parents. Everything I've been feeling for the past month is starting to boil over. I don't want this. I honestly am getting really tired of doing things for you. I don't want to be in school. Not that I don't want to learn. I do, but there are more ways to learn important things than through textbooks and lectures. I want to live and then go back to school when I'm ready. I'm terrified that I'm going to be stuck in NJ for the rest of my life. 10 or 20 years from now I don't want to look back and not feel satisfied and accomplished with my life. I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in my life. At this point I'm starting to worry I never will. I can't understand why I can tell people around me to stand up and yet I can't do it for myself. There are times when I really really wish I could just tell you what I'm feeling but I'm too scared you'll hurt me again. I know its inevitable because you won't agree with what I have to say. I know that we'll fight and argue and maybe even stop talking for a few months, because that's how it is. It's how we work. You won't let me have the chance to live. I want to explore and say that I've done something. And not just for you or anyone else. But for me. I always take the time to listen and help others and I love the satisfaction of it but at the end of the day I just wish I could have done something to help myself. I want to enjoy life not feel like I need to conform to satisfy others. Why? What's the point in living if I don't enjoy it? What should it matter if I'm doing what I love and happy? Isn't that satisfying to you enough? Why can't you let me be happy? Why can't you let me live? These questions run through my mind everyday. Maybe one day you'll hear them out loud. Whether it's by me growing the balls to say them, or me being pressured and angry enough to get them out. I want you to hear them. I want you to know how I'm feeling. Otherwise I'll be sitting here wallowing in my thoughts wishing you could hear me.
So these are the words you may never hear.

Mischief Managed.

About the Blogger

I figured that since I've been doing this blog for a while it's time for me to write some info on myself.

I'm currently in college for Creative Writing but I'm not sure what I want to do with it. I love Harry Potter! (in case you didn't notice) I'm also a big Anime/Manga fan. I cosplay and go to conventions (though not as may as I'd like). I have a passion for anything artsy; photography, drawing, painting, music...

Now to the more personal stuff: If you haven't already read any of my posts yet, then I'll warn you, a lot of the times I blog when I'm feeling a surge of emotions. Both happy and sad. I haven't had the easiest life nor do I expect it to get easier anytime soon. I find myself learning about my environment and myself everyday. I try to cherish everyday and while not everyday is happy there's always something to gain.

Anyways! I love learning about new people so feel free to comment! I love hearing opinions whether they're agreements or not. Hope you all enjoy!

Mischief Managed

Archaic ideals or realistic thinking?

This is just a response paper I wrote for my world civ class. I really felt like I had things to say about the topic and so I decided to post it! Let me know what you all think! 

 

Arranged Marriages: Archaic ideals or realistic thinking?

    The articles “India: The Family” and “No More MoonJune: Love’s Out” in Reading in Global History both explore the disadvantages as well as the advantages of arranged marriages. “India: the Family” explains the specific society and customs of India. It demonstrated the reasoning behind why India’s people prefer arranged marriages than the Western way of matrimony. The article “No More MoonJune: Love’s Out” discusses how love may not be the best choice for decided to marry someone. These articles started to make me think about what really makes a successful marriage and ask myself: Is love really enough?
    As a writer and self-proclaimed romantic I seriously thought going in I would disagree with arranged marriages. I didn’t think that there was anything good about them. Before reading the articles I had no real basis of understanding about why certain societies had arranged marriages. When I read the article about India and its customs I started to open my mind to the realization that they truly believe what they’re doing is right for the family as a whole. I think that one thing the United States seems to lack compared to the traditional societies is the importance of a whole group. Supporting the arguments of the article, “No More MoonJune: Love’s Out,” I believe that Americans are more selfish and only think of personal gain. As I was reading this article I could tell how cynic the writer was about love, but I couldn’t help but agree that there are some benefits of living in a society with arranged marriages. While I don’t agree completely that arranged marriages should be enforced nor do I think a marriage completely based on profit is good; I do think that people need to remember that just because you are in love with someone doesn’t mean that they are a beneficial thing for you. At least once in a person’s life they have to decide if they should choose what is good for them or what they want based on a mere feeling. If I were to look at a twenty year old women in an arranged marriage and compare her personality and way of thinking to a married women the same age in America; I would see how dependent the American women would be on their partner. As a twenty year old American girl I know just how much pressure there is on finding a mate and love as well. An arranged marriage is based on a specific belief, not on the satisfaction of the participating people. When I looked back at the factors that a family looks at when finding a mate for their family member I realized how similar the conditions were to a modern day search for a partner in life. Location, family environment, and place in society all are factors a person now would think about if they were interested in a long-term relationship with someone. Another thing American marriages have in common with arranged marriages is that it all boils down to a primitive want: to continue a blood line. In less archaic terms; create a family. One sentence that really hit me was, “everyone can find something to love, honor, and cherish in anyone else” (RGH 55). While arranged marriages don’t seem fair for at least one of the people involved, I can’t deny that an arranged marriage does force a person to actually find something positive in another. This is something I feel today’s American society has forgotten.
    All in all, I can’t say I completely agree with arranged marriages. However, I do think that people need to think realize that they need to look at how things affect others and not just themselves. Also I believe that people need to understand that is more to life than just self-satisfaction.

Mischief Managed

IWILL.

 Well I'm back home. I''m in an inspired mood today. This past summer has taught me so many things about life and myself. I went into camp thinking it was going to be just a job and came out with more things learned than the campers did. It has become another home to me. I've learned throughout my life that there are so many different places that I call home. It's no one solitary place; it's where you're loved and treated as an equal and pushed through your limits to expand your thinking and experiences. There is no one word I could use to describe my summer because it was that crazy. I've been shown that my dream is achievable and if I really want something I can just go for it. It may be completely crazy and unconventional but hell! if it's what I want, then that's all that matters. The friends I made at camp (as tacky as it sounds) are going to be my friends for life. So by this time next year I'm going to have gone to England. I'm going to travel and spend my time abroad and see where life takes me. I want to see the world...so I'm going to.

I guess you could also say that getting into a relationship with a guy that actually treats me well and cares for me has also added "fuel to the fire". I'm not sure where thing's will go but they're progressing and that's all that matters. I've been hurt too many times and I refuse to lose faith in love. Right when I was about to let go and give up; something surprising and exciting occurred. I put myself out there expecting rejection but was enlightened to hope once again.

I learned this summer not to take life for granted. I had the unfortunate experience of a death of a former teacher as well as a mother of a close friend. My friend's loss inspired him to do things he didn't think he'd ever do, which in turn, got me thinking. Why wait? 5 years from now I don't want to be stuck in the same old small town thinking about what I wish I could have done. The only thing stopping me was myself. I was letting my parents' excuses become my own and I was taught to keep asking "why not".

I made a collage in the beginning of camp that expresses my will to travel. Which is pictured above.

So I hope that anyone who reads this will learn at least a little bit of my message. Life is way too short to let it fly by. I want to start a campaign called IWILL. Maybe it'll catch on? Where anyone can do what they want so long as they have the passion and courage to fight for it.
Anyways! Tah-tah for now! I'm off to catch some zzz's! Hope you all have enjoyed your summers and good luck with school starting!

Mischief Managed.

7-25-11 Day ???

Too many things have happened since the last time I've updated and because I'm am too tired to type them all out now I won't. All you need to know is that I've been very busy, hence why I haven't updated as much. The kids here are great. I've been switched over to Relief staff which is a lot more relaxing and now I don't have to worry about missing out on laundry stuff. Anyways, I've got to go! Love you all!!


Mischief Managed

Camp--Day 21

Well there has been so much going on in my life. I've been at camp for 3 weeks now and I'm not sure how I feel. I'm 1/2 of the laundry staff and a bunk counselor for 7 girls. It's been really crazy and busy and frustrating and a million other feelings as well. My first full day here (during staff week) I wanted to go home. I had a breakdown filled with crying and called my parents saying I wanted to go home and that they should come get me. The head of my bunk suggested that I help out with the Creative Writing department which did help me not think about home. I haven't been able to help out since the first week though which isn't too bad. I've just been overwhelmed by stinky socks and gross underwear. Not to mention the "lovely" surprises in the pockets of the campers. o.O  The girls in my bunk are awesome. They drive me crazy and can be frustrating at times but at the end of the day we can all get together and act like a family once again. Two of the girls are leaving tomorrow night so tonight's bunk wind-down is going to be emotional (mostly for me). I've gotten to know these girls and they are such wonderful people. They are talented and each is unique.

One of the nicer things about being part of the laundry staff is I get a break from the campers. It's nice to be able to not have to watch what I say or pretend I'm super excited about the most mundane things. The area around the camp is quite beautiful. The farms and fields are something out of a movie and I find myself becoming calm whenever I go by. One of my least favorite things about the area are 1.) the bugs, and 2.) we're in the middle of nowhere! The most frequented stores are Wawa and Walmart. I'm really wishing I had my car so I could go home on my days off.

Another thing plaguing my mind recently is my love life...or lack of. I do have an interest however due to being in completely different countries, things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm still really confused on how I feel, however, I'm learning to let myself be out there and see where things go. I have no idea if he even wants to give us another shot but I'm really hoping. Last time I was scared and didn't give myself the chance to see if it could turn into something great.

Well that's all for now, I need to head back to laundry! Hope everyone's days are better than mine and filled with unicorns and rainbows!!

Mischief Managed

Update: 6-24-11

SO I thought an update was needed since I haven't posted in quite a long time. I've been a camp for the past week...it's interesting to say the least. A new experience. I'm feeling a bit home sick today because I didn't have much to do. (also if there are any spelling mistakes sorry, I'm using a mac and it's way different than my HP) I quit my job at Kohls (yay!) and as stated earlier I'm working at a summer arts camp in southern NJ. I'm a bunk counsiler, laundry staff, and I'm also helping out the Creative Writing department. Anyways! I'll probs post up later today or tomorrow.

Misheif Managed.

Today was a fairytale!

Today was a fantabulous day!!!!! *sing-sing voice* I went to see PofTC4 which was great, took my friend to get her first tattoo, ate Olive Garden, visited the beach....oh and got my second commission. If you check out my DeviantArt: http://storiofmylife.deviantart.com  I made a new necklace last night, that I must say is one of my favorites. A girl from work asked me to make it and I'm selling it for $25!! Going towards my con-fund....I now have...$25! haha Anyways It's been a great week. Finished the 4th HP book onto the 5th. My friend and I also plan to dress up as pirates at AnimeNext. Which I'm excited for. I just ordered a skirt and midriff corset...Next is to make some jewelry. Anyways I'm excited for Demyx Time 15 and the next Marauders video. If you don't know what I'm talking about go to this link---->http://www.youtube.com/user/JenxtheJinx
They are amazing people and I wish my life could be as magical as theirs. They are people I watch on YouTube that always make me feel better.
Well hope everyone is enjoying their summer/spring (for those in school still)!

Mischief Managed.

I know!

Just finished watching a new episode of In Plain Sight. One of my top shows because I love the main female character's blunt and sarcastic attitude. Very similar to mine! But this week's progress on changing my attitude has progressed fairly well. My birthday was this week and it was by far the best I've ever had. I spent it with great friends and it was nice to get out and do something exciting. My step-dad and I still aren't talking...not sure how I feel about it. My mom and I talked about it and she defended him as per usual. But the one thing that always bothers me is when I'm told what I am. Just stop! One of my rants to my mom was when she explained that I don't think about others. Which really hits me deep. Do my parents not know me at all? do they not notice all the pain and silence I went through for them and others? According to my parents and other people in my life I am: selfish, negative and a horrible person. So if anyone wants to add onto that feel free! I'm not listening. Do they need to point out my flaws? Obviously I already know what they are. I'm not stupid or oblivious. I'm not perfect and no one is!

Moving on....hmm....what else happened this week? Not really much. I've been relaxing and enjoying my time off. I dyed my hair so it has a bit of a reddish tint and I put blue and red/pink(supposed to be purple) streaks in my hair. I like change of scenery so since I can't change my furniture around I tend to change my hair.

Hope everyone enjoys their summer and good luck to everyone and their endeavors!

Mischief Managed

It's time

I haven't updated the blog in a while, which I do apologize for! Thing's have been a bit hectic with me moving back home, finals, and getting back to working. I just finished watching the movie Beauty and the Briefcase. Now it's not a spectacular movie but the message it sends kind of hits home for me. I have declared that it's time for a change. With a new school next year and working a new job this summer I'll be meeting new people. I plan to turn my attitude and life around. It's almost the summer and I plan to take advantage of the changes in scenery. So I've decided that at least twice a week I'm going to update this blog. I want to turn my life around. While I don't enjoy everything in my life I need to deal with them and find ways to cope. I have an amazing group of friends who are there for me and support me in what ever I go for (even if I don't know what I want). I want to do random things and go on road trips with no destinations. I want to date and maybe even fall in love! I miss the days when I had no care in the world. I want to get together with friends and do whatever comes to mind. I want to live life! In order for me to write I need inspiration and where else can I get it but from life itself? So join me if you want. I'm going to count the days! Let this be the beginning of something. Wish me luck!

Mischief Managed

you.

So you want to take credit for MY work. I guess all the things I've worked on by myself for it means nothing. Well go ahead it's not like you have the guts to say anything to my face. Besides the people who you think are your friends know the truth and know all the work I've put into it. They know the hours the I've spent planning and organizing and researching. They know that I'M the one who created something that people will one day take advantage of. So you want to sit there and take credit for that? Okay. Because I promise one day it all will come crashing down on you. It may seem like things are perfect however when you least want and expect it....you'll fall. So go ahead and lie to my face and pretend that you care.
I know the real you. And you've pushed me far enough so I'm going to reveal all of how I feel. You are one fucked up person. You try and pretend to be happy but you turn to all the wrong maneuvers, things that hurt you more. So here's a wake up call: It only makes things worse. You think that everyone believes you...guess what...we know. We're aren't stupid. Things won't get better unless you let them. So grow up and learn to deal with things the healthy way.
I'm not perfect (gosh I am far from it) however I have a great support system that isn't as messed up as I am. They hold me up and know what makes me feel better. They can say nothing and still make me feel better. Because I know that they truly care and want the best for me.
So yes, I'm calling you out. Yes, you are very smart and pretty. But at the end of the day can you honestly sit there and say that you are PROUD of what you've done. Of who you are. Can you look in the mirror and believe that you've never done something you don't regret? Yes...I was angry. But now that I've got this out I'm happier. You know why? Because I have a healthy way of releasing my pain. I don't let it build up inside of me and take over my life. I write. It's what I'm good at and what I love so when I write you know it's the truth and from inside me.
In the end, at least I can say that I learn from my mistakes and am honest. I'm not afraid to let people know how I feel. I have the courage. So feel free to reply. Feel free to come forward. Although I don't think you will. But good luck in life.

Mischief Managed.

Avada Bitch!

So....I have this ex of a little over 2 years and he just doesn't get that I want absolutely nothing to do with him. I don't ever wish harm on anyone, however, I hate to say this. (And it does somewhat disgust me that I feel this way) I just wish he would disappear. If I ever see him all I wish I could do is crucio him so he could feel at least a sliver of the pain he caused me. I regret the whole relationship and the time I wasted on him. It takes a lot for me to truly hate someone and he is one of those people that I really hate. I just want him to stop bothering me and let me live my life. I just get so angry and frustrated because he won't STOP. Really? If you've apologized to (through a text message) and I still haven't responded back. hmmmmm....OBVIOUSLY I want nothing to do with you. Do you not get it? I think any normal minded person would get the hint after 2 YEARS!!

Anyways...if anyone has any advice on how to deal with this psychotic ex-boyfriend feel free to leave me a comment!

On happier news! I only have 18 days left at this hell I call school! YAYYYY

Also! For my birthday this year, my friends and I are going to the Harry Potter Exhibit in NYC! I'm really excited!! This summer has lots of fun things packed! Hope everyone's end of the semester/school year goes smoothly and well.

Mischief Managed.

Once you realize...

...that the past is just a story, it has no power over you.

I read this quote online at a site I like to browse: Wittyprofiles.com

Anyways, it really just hit me. This quote is true. Maybe not for you, but for me, it does. I was sitting here being a bit sad about life. I'm not really sure why but it made me think. I'm a writer. And how to I deal with my emotions? I write about them. So, why not write about the things/people that really hurt me? Why not let it all out there and let the pieces fall where they may? It may be hard and excruciatingly painful for me...but that's what I'm going to do! I'm going to just write and not stop until I'm finished. It's most likely going to be a disorganized mess, but hey! maybe it'll work out! So wish me luck I have a lot of typing to do.

Mischief Managed

Dear parents who don’t agree with their child’s opinion,

Get over it.

Seriously. It’s either deal with it or you will wind up losing your kid forever. Forcing someone to have either your own opinion or no opinion at all doesn’t end well. The reason I’m bringing up this issue is because I have a step-father who hates almost everything I stand for. He will never say it out loud without being forced to but he’s doesn’t agree with equality. That’s the nicest way of saying it. I just decided to group everything under a broad category.

We were in the car driving to Virginia today and my mom had accidentally hit the CD button on the car radio. Michael Buble happened to be in. And he started to complain and whine like he’s 5 years old.

You’re 61 years old…really?

Anyways and he keeps complaining saying this music is crap. My mom and I tell him that he needs to deal with it and then him and I engage in a rather….loud ‘discussion’. He says I have no right to say anything and that my opinion doesn’t matter.

Before I continue let me give a tiny piece of history. I don’t tell my parents a lot because they always put down everything I do. I have told my mom about this. There’s always been an issue with them never listening to me and my opinions. Now back to the story….

I turn to my mom and tell her “I told you so” because well…I did. Now to me ranting about this-à

(This is what I was saying in my head)
Would he rather me listen to music that was all about drugs and sex? Since when was his opinion the only one that matters? Who made him king? I don’t give a crap that you’re the oldest one in the car, there’s something called respect. I don’t agree with many things you say, however, you don’t see me throwing a fit like I’m 5 years old. I just don’t understand.

Now to apply my thinking on the world…
What gives people the right to silence others? Why should a person feel oppressed if he thinks something different. If you look at the world’s history, it’s the ones who do think differently who make the biggest difference. They’re the people we write about and inspire us.

So tell me. In a today’s world….why is it that we think ourselves so advanced and revolutionary when there are still people who are silenced. Everyday there’s someone who is forced to keep their opinions in their heads and walk around a mundane society that thinks they are superior.

That’s another thing about this world that bothers me. If you compare the United States culture to…say…a European culture what do I see? That the United States is lacking. Sure, we have democracy (which I’m not saying is a bad thing) and a sense of freedom. But are we really better? Or equally cultured? Not really. Do we respect the others that surround us? No. Does majority of the population care about our history? No, they don’t. It’s a sad but true fact. Even if we don’t know We seem to forget all the sacrifices our troops, or influential members of our country has given. It wasn’t easy. Our citizens in this time have forgotten that the things that matter, that mean something, aren’t easy to achieve. When will people remember the good things in life? The things that matter.

Mischief Managed.

CollegeACB: It's On!

Sometimes I just have to wonder...why. Why people are so mean? What really makes us say the things we do and act certain ways. I recently came across a site called collegeacb.com
.....just wow....are people so self-centered and malicious that they use the anonymity of this site to embarrass and torment others. Well I'm answering back. I'm answering back for all those COWARDS who think its sooo much fun to talk shit and those who HIDE behind a facade. It's wrong. It's wrong to post personal information about someone without their consent. It's wrong to think that you can talk about someone and not give them the chance to fight back. It's WEAK and PATHETIC. I would bet my life that those inhumane people who wrote what they did couldn't stand in front of that person they gossiped about and tell them the truth.

So I'm calling all of you out. Tell everyone who you are. What are you so scared of? What makes it okay? What would happen if someone you trusted posted things about you? How do you think it feels to have all your secrets exposed...everything. How would you feel if people looked at you and laughed. How would you feel if you couldn't trust anyone, couldn't talk to anyone. What if you had nothing? I know how it feels to be broken and made fun of and feel like nothing will go right. Nothing can save you. All you feel is sadness. There is no out. I know.

And now I'm talking to all those beautiful people who were attacked. Because yes, it was an attack. You are strong. It's okay to be different and somewhat crazy. I don't care. It tends to make life more interesting. So speak up for yourselves. Hell even if its yelling out loud to yourself!! DO IT! You are all special and no one can take that away. So what if you don't fit into any cookie cutter mold. I would consider it an accomplishment if you didn't. Who the hell cares if you don't have the right clothes, right hairstyle, the right friends. Who gets to say whats "right" and "wrong"? Do whatever YOU want to do. It'll make you so much happier.

And I guess I'll conclude by saying: Be honest to others and yourself. You're the one who has to live with your choices everyday. Are you happy when you look in the mirror?

Mischief Managed

The Truth.

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves." (François de la Rochefoucauld)

Do you ever feel left out? As if you're that person that no one likes? They pretend and act like you matter when in reality you don't. I've been having these thoughts a lot recently. Sometimes you have to wonder....do people actually care about you? I mean I have my really close friends who I've known for almost my whole life and then there are people I've met recently who I know actually care....But then there are those who i've done so many things for and been there through everything and yet Im treated like shit. What is it with people? I have to wonder if they even realize what they're doing. The worst case scenario would be that they do and they still use me. I'm not some pawn in a game nor am i a back up friend. Why can't you just tell me the truth. You know me long enough to know that I hate lies and I've been through enough to be able to handle disappointment.
So I need to ask: What happened to the truth? What makes people now a days lie? Why do we have this need to have everyone like us and be annoyed constantly by this person/people? Why can't we for ONCE be honest with others and stop holding things in? It really doesn't go well in the end anyways. I just don't understand. What makes us be so repressed?


As you can tell...I'm confused annoyed and pissed off....Anyways I hope everyone's weekends went well and hope your week goes well! 


Mischief Managed

Let me tell you.....

So. I pretty much was kicked out of a class under a false accusation...and it was my favorite class. =[  Today hasn't been the best days. However due to some great friends, they have helped me feel happier with dinner out and a trip to B&N. One of the places I wouldn't mind living in.

I hate to say this but I just have no faith in myself right now...not even that I just feel like I'm moving towards a pointless goal. When I graduate what will my diploma say? That I know how to read, write, and analyze. If you can't read and write at my age...the education system has failed. Why is it that we are in a country where people can get famous off of youtube and yet majority of the people can't follow their dreams? What ever happened to "Carpe Diem" and seizing the day? I want to travel, learn about different cultures and write about it. I want to be able to say, "Hey! I've been there and seen what it's like." No wonder society is so messed up. We are forced into a cookie-cutter mold that makes kids today think "What's the point?" Why should they even bother if teachers/parents/guardians are telling them that they have to do something sensible. So what if I may live poor for the rest of my life. I've already come to terms with that. I'm in college. It costs a lot of money! I would rather drop out, travel, explore, and learn through experience and be happy but poor. Rather than be in a drab, slate gray, cubicle doing mediocre work and be miserable. SO WHAT about stability and healthy financial status! I don't care. Money means nothing to me! It may help me further my hobbies and momentary happiness but when I look at the world and see the people who have shaped literature, I don't see those who sat down and did nothing. They went for it! Why?? Why do I have to sit in so many hours of class each day? Just to prove that I can momentarily memorize data and facts so the school looks better? So I can sell myself to people for something I most likely don't want to do? I would be happy working in a book store the rest of my life, it's something I'd love to do.

........I think I'm done with my rant for now...anyways here's a quote that I deem appropriate for my day.

“There's no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.” --Ella Wheeler Wilcox


Mischief Managed

Stupid B****es

Why? Why did I have to be put in the hallway with the stupid bitches? They don't know the definition of personal space or personal hygiene. For those who don't know me I live in a hall with field hockey girls.....just ugh. They are obnoxious skanky drunks who don't know the meaning of closing the stall door when going to the bathroom. They...s**t in the showers and leave plenty of hair in the drains and sinks. I just can't handle them...I'm like seriously? Also they love to slam the doors at 3 in the morning. Rude. Also I need to question a post I read once on Tumblr about....I'm sorry to use such an offensive term....Twilight. (I know I shudder at even thinking about it). It was a comparison of T******t and Harry Potter. Now idk if it was a joke or serious but it said that Twilight came first and a bunch of other stupid comments....I'm praying it's a joke. If not society is going to s**t.

I feel this quote is appropriate for my post: “Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity… Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend.”

Now...I'm not saying the whole vampire world + love is a horrible idea. Wrong! I have found series that I like and I'm going to tell you some.
Vampire Academy--> love the action and the main character Rose, unlike T******t, actually has a personality and wit to her. It has a dark tone in it at times. And not a depression thats drawn out, but a burst here and there.
House of Night series--> this is one of my favorites. Although I'm 2 books behind. The most recent book I read was filled with dark tones and depth. But it also has some love triangles and plenty of deception. P.C. Cast definitely is a genius in creating the settings and scenarios. (I also recommend her other books)

Anyways I'll finish my advertising and move on.  But I must recommend going on Tumblr and searching T******t Sucks and the results are quite entertaining. Ta-ta for now!!

Mischief Managed

What happens when HP invades your life???

Quick side note: My friends and I are planning to cosplay The Marauders so I will use their nicknames in order to hide they're true awesomeness. Also they call me Lily Evans so don't be confused.

So Remus texted me today asking if I was secretly on his campus. He saw a girl with red hair and her hoodie had the name Evans on the back. My response? Oh I'm doing a secret project for Slughorn. Our lives are magical. Also he told me there were a pair of boots sitting in his hallway and he was afraid to touch them in fear they were a port key.

So today I had a somewhat alright day...didn't end well. However I have destressed though watching White Collar. Which was extra epic because Matt Bomer was half naked. ;)

Also I looked up some spoilers for Glee...going to have some awesome episodes coming up. I love love love love (x1000) Darren Criss. Here's the article I read: http://www.spoilersguide.com/glee/more-songs-more-couplings-what-are-gleeks-for/

Now...I should probably write something insightful...but I'm going to be honest and say I don't have much brain power left today. SO I shall leave you with an awesome quote that gets me thinking.

"Tomorrow, you promise yourself, will be different, yet, tomorrow is too often a repetition of today." James T. Mccay

Mischief Managed

Why I started this blog?

The reason I decided to start making a blog was because I decided it was time to really put myself out there. I'm a writer for Her Campus, which is an online magazine, and I want to be able to get my articles out. Even if no one reads this, that's okay with me. I named it Magical Me because I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan. I love all things magical, such as AVPM and AVPS (if you don't know what that is Google it now....like right now....you're missing out). I plan to use this blog as a way to put my frustrations and over all craziness towards entertainment of other people (and partly myself). So I hope that I get a fan base, however if I don't....oh well. At least I'll have a place to put my thoughts. I love when people chat with me or just give me a nice review. So feel free! My email is storiofmylife@yahoo.com. So hit me up (make sure to say you're responding from a post or else I'll think it's spam).

So I guess I should probably give a little background on myself. I'm in college. I'm currently in the process of transferring. I have 2 huskies  (Wyatt and Jasmine) although I like to call them Lupin and Sirius. I'm into cosplay, anime/manga. I love sewing the outfits and have gotten better over the years. I am a dork. I'm an English major so I love to read. I'm single and currently looking (although I haven't found anyone as dorky like me who isn't an asshole). Well.....that's about as far as I'm going to go with the personal stuff. I'm sure my posts will go deeper into my life as I progress. Hope someone reads this because it'll make me happy!!
Her Campus-Brittany Long's articles

Mischief Managed